I’m racist. I won’t eat bananas to make any point. Neither feel I guilty when I’m made to come face to face with my indifferent.

I’m more racist towards my very own. So I deliberately avoid those whose colour resembles mine. Maybe to prove a point, that friendship and human connections should surpass colour. And purely based on what lays inside of us.

But this morning two boys, grade five and six, lighted my morning. Innocent smiles and gratefulness of kids who found somebody who looks like them were unavoidable. Most people around me, specifically in this place they call HOPE, have made me to believe that I put on unapproachable mode. But the boys proved them, me wrong. Two minutes conversation gave me immeasurable joy.

But it also did push me to think. Why isn’t it possible to receive smiles from all kids around. Those who knows me or those that don’t. What is the difference between the kids that took courage to say hello, and those that seem indoctrinated that people different to their race are not only difficult to talk to but they share not the same language.

We live in a world where we have to be reminded to do the obvious. We have to eat bananas to prove that we are human. We have to use belittling images to motivate ourselves to give for a good course. We look up to the governments to create institutions to make us do what is right. We trust those who are unfamiliar with our real struggles. We assign prestigious status to celebrates to tell us nothing else but love. We leave it to religious school dropouts to simplify our life to ambiguity of love. And to tell us that those who think differently are in need of help.

And the institutionalisation of the obvious has made us captives. Strangled by the very people we look up to for help. Incolonisation aspires to make us all equal. And by doing this, it rips us off the beauty that makes life worth living.

The search for the beautiful, the difference in us, in everyone is what we love for everyday. None of us, has a claim to perfect status of sameness, and that is what we live for.